Hey everyone!
It’s been forever since I’ve last posted! I’ve missed talking to you guys, finding out what’s going on in your lives, and sharing about the things in my life. I thought it was a long break when I was busy during the holidays and disappeared, but this time has been even longer. Life has been crazy busy for me the past couple weeks, and I just couldn’t find the time to update. Stress from midterm exams and projects plagued university. I like to put in effort in my posts, creating content that I hope you all enjoy. I could have just posted a short little something during the time I was away, but I’d rather post something that I truly feel good about instead.
I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day! I personally didn’t celebrate it because I didn’t really find any reason to. I mean if you count curling up on the couch binging on Gilmore Girls on Netflix while eating an unhealthy amount of dark chocolate and popcorn, then yeah I guess I did celebrate?
What did you guys do for Valentine’s Day? Share in the comments below!
Today, I wanted to discuss something that has been on my mind for a long time now. Friendships, specifically toxic friendships. We all have them. It’s a topic we don’t like to think about because it is depressing and upsetting, but we all will have to deal with this eventually at some point or another. It’s pretty ironic how I’m talking about this the day after Valentine’s Day, the day of love. Weird, huh?
To start off, as I mentioned before lately I’ve been preoccupied with lots of activities, responsibilities, and other things even more so than usual. When life gets busy, there are bound to be some consequences. The usual ones are stress, breakdowns, unfinished projects, etc. For me? I’ve realized that a hectic life leads to me finding out who my real friends are.
It’s not the most ideal way, nor is it a very conventional way of testing out your friendships. Honestly, it never occurred to me that finding out who in my life were toxic would be a potential consequence of having to juggle many things at once. That’s not something you normally think about.
Now correct me if I’m wrong, but in my opinion, friends are the ones that should be there for you regardless of the circumstance. They are there to help you out through difficult times. When you have good news to share, your friends are the ones you celebrate with. These special moments are what makes friendships such a cherished and precious thing.
In the past couple months, I’ve come to realize who in my life are my true friends. When you are busy as hell and got a sundry of reasons to be stressed out, a real friend should understand. In fact, they usually offer to help you, whether it is to talk it out as a way to de-stress or physically pitch in to aid you in accomplishing a task. Friends don’t pull strings in such a way that adds to your stress. You shouldn’t feel guilty that you can’t spend time with your friends. The only reason why you should feel guilty is if you are feeling so grateful and appreciative you feel almost unworthy for having such kind, generous, and understanding friends.
Someone who puts all the focus on their own problems, acting as if your own do not matter and do not exist is not someone you should keep in your life. If they brush off your problems as if they are insignificant, excusing their indifference as an inability to offer good advice or comfort, they are not worthy.
Toxic friends are not fake friends. That’s not how I see it. With toxic friends, you do genuinely enjoy their company…to some extent. There are enough of those good moments to make you so conflicted over whether or not this friendship is worth it. With fake friends, you can so easily figure out that they are not really your friends. Toxic friends are ones you just can’t seem to explain. The only thing you know for sure is that being with them always leaves you feeling happy, yet deep down slightly unsettled and discomforted.
Okay, this isn’t to say you should spend all the time talking about your own problems, and hogging the conversation. No. Because then YOU will become that toxic friend. My point is to be aware of how your friends treat you, and how you treat your friends. Really take a look at how true your friends are, and also evaluate how you yourself act with your friends.
I’ve come to realize who are toxic in my life. Honestly, it’s very difficult to admit and come to terms with. The people I’ve noticed are toxic in my life are ones who have been there a very long time. By endeavoring to let go of toxic friends, I’m also trying to find a way to let go of the past.
Don’t hold onto those who are toxic simply because of the long history you both share. The resentment, irritation, mood swings you go through are not worth it. You shouldn’t feel that mixture of reluctance and delight whenever you think of them. How’s that friendship? That’s more like an irritating coworker, or distant cousin, not friend.
It’s incredibly difficult. I have to let go of the past in order to let go of toxic friends. But the longer I hold off, the more difficult it will become.
I’m willing to make amends with and reconcile with those I consider toxic in my life. I don’t want any leftover resentment. I want to walk away knowing I’ve put in my best effort. The toxic people in my life and I have mutual friends in common. I want to know that we won’t start WWIII if we ever come face to face again. This is the step I’m still working on. But the most crucial part, I’ve done. I’ve identified those in my life who are toxic, and that’s the part that I think is most important. Don’t be in denial; just accept it.
I would love to fix things with the toxic friends I’ve got in my life. I want to discover that the good DOES outweigh the bad, and that we can get past it. It’s definitely a difficult deed to figure out what’s worth it.
If there’s anyone reading this who thinks it is my way of being passive-aggressive, you are so incredibly wrong. This is exactly what I mean about toxic friends being self-absorbed, thinking every move you make concerns them. Get it in your noggin’ that it ain’t all about you! This is simply MY SPACE to rant, MY SPACE to vent, MY SPACE to share my thoughts.
I really encourage you to evaluate the people in your life, to see who is truly valuable to keep around. How do you deal with toxic friends? How do you see who is worth keeping friendships with? I would love for you all to share your thoughts down in the comments below!
Thank you for reading, I know this was wayyy longer than usual! I just had a lot to get off my chest.
I wish you all a wonderful week!
Til next time,
~A
